Presenting the greatest quotes in the history of computers...

He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets upgrading
To err is human, to blame your computer is even more human, it is
downright natural.
When you start thinking that you really understand your PC, it's
probably obsolete.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
The first place to look for help is in the section of the manual where
you least expect to find it.
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to
happen.
If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to be from a
simpler one that worked just fine!
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely
what you want to do.

10 ways to solve a problem

Can't find a solution to your problem? Begin with identifying the source
of your problem.
Ignore it for a while; see if it solves itself.
State it to be a crisis and invest many resources to solve it.
Give the problem to someone whose job is to solve it.
Identify the source of the problem first.
Throw money at it.
Realize that it's NOT a problem & treat it like an opportunity!
Do the opposite of what you'd normally to do to solve the problem.
Identify the 5 steps that will solve the problem.
Extend your boundaries so that the same problem doesn't happen again.
Change yourself, or increase your context/perspective, so that it's no
longer a problem.