PATNI CHALISA (LOL HA HA)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

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PATNI CHALISA (LOL HA HA)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

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Be Positive Like This Boy

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'



Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Boy.: Shake hands



Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck



Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Managment)
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

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Be Positive Like This Boy

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'



Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Boy.: Shake hands



Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck



Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Managment)
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

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John was waiting for his love....


"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5
mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"


"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and
stuff .... oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.

"OK I will try"

Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey ...
I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"

"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain .... "she
would have had a nervous breakdown"

John ignored his brain .. "Its OK honey .. its only half an hour .. no problem"

She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember
what occasion is today"

"OMG!!!", thought John .....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly
anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different
parts ... parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete
memory scan.

Sheetal stared at John .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2
minutes now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Damn!!", thought John

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.

John is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?". said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT T!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" , she shouted ... and started crying.

"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"


"!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

John was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... dont worry our specialist
will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ..brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity ..... gathering and analyzing all
data on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to John.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggie's birthday
... how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
John and his brain were left there clueless ....

"Ah! screw u guys .. I'm going home", said his brain and left.

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John was waiting for his love....


"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5
mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"


"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and
stuff .... oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.

"OK I will try"

Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey ...
I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"

"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain .... "she
would have had a nervous breakdown"

John ignored his brain .. "Its OK honey .. its only half an hour .. no problem"

She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember
what occasion is today"

"OMG!!!", thought John .....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly
anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different
parts ... parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete
memory scan.

Sheetal stared at John .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2
minutes now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Damn!!", thought John

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.

John is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?". said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT T!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" , she shouted ... and started crying.

"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"


"!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

John was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... dont worry our specialist
will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ..brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity ..... gathering and analyzing all
data on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to John.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggie's birthday
... how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
John and his brain were left there clueless ....

"Ah! screw u guys .. I'm going home", said his brain and left.

JOIN OUR FUNNY MAILS GROUP

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/sweetcrazyboy