PROFESSOR :
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho?
MUNNA BHAI :
Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko.
MUNNA BHAI :
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

______________________________

MAMU :
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

_______________________________

CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

________________________________


MAMU :
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Sindhi sikhna padega. Kuch hal batao.
MUNNA BHAI :
Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU :
Meinay ek Sindhi baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
_______________________________

PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

______________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

________________________________


Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India

________________________________


CIRCUIT :
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU :
Nehin.
CIRCUIT :
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU :
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI :
Yaad nahin hai yaar. Bahut purani baat hai.

____________________________

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?
MAMU :
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI :
Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta?

______________________________

MAMU :
Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

________________________________

CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

________________________________

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

 

.

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)

.

1) 1ltr = 1000 ml 1/2ltr =500ml 1/4 = 250 ml But But liquors 1full = 750 ml 1half = 375 ml 1quarter= 180 ml Sala bewadon ko  Sarkar bhi bewakuf banati hai. 2) GITA SAAR KATHA - Mobile nirjiv hai , Sim jiski atma , SMS woh gyan hai , jo batane se badhta hai . Ishliye , hey prani balance ka moh tyag!!! 3) SUPERMAN Dushmano se Lad Raha Hai  SPIDERMAN Deewaro pe Chadh Raha Hai BATMAN Raato mei Ghoom Raha Hai  & Humara DOBBERMAN "SMS" Padh Raha Hai...!!! :) 4) What is the similarity betwen "Baygon-spray"& "Body-spray".?? If u Use Baygon spray u will die& If u Don't use Body spray othrs will Die... 5) DIYA MIRZA D.O.B:15/10/80 Wght:49 kgs., height: 5'7",Color: Normal Indian Birth place: hydrabad Dream:Bhai banungi to sirf is msg padne vale ki. 6) U R GHONCHU... G- Great H-Hot O-One in a million N-Naughty C-Cute H-Humble U-Unique Zyada mat khush ho... ho to ghonchu hi...!!!!! :) 7) Palko pe apni bithaya hai apko, Badi duaon k bad paya hai apko, Asani se nahin mile aap,  Africa ke ghane jungle se churaya hai aapko!! 8) Meri gali mein aana, thoda muskurana, thoda sharmana, thoda itrana aur phir zor se chilaana  'LOHA TINA SISI BOTAL PLASTIC' KABADIWALA. 9) Aap Ne Mujh Ko Dekha Fir Aap Mere Peeche Aaye Aate gaye fir fir fir fir kya MUJHE ATHANNI Deni Hi Padi. 10) If ppl say u r crazy b patient, u r monkey relax, u r mad b cool, bt if they say u r smart, thappad lagana sale ko! mazaak ki bhi had hoti hai....:)

.

Da Santa Jokes Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? Santa: Suicide karne ke liye Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BHOW BHOW Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a traffic cop tried to stop them. Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For u n ur parents Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs? Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open Museum Administrator: That’s a 500 year old statue u’ve broken. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye. Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya. Banta: I’ve discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye Santa: Oh, yeah? What’s it? Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, ‘I’m leaving u!’ & the wife said: Good Bye! At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr….. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup… Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si? Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich. Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi. Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga! Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai…? Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya? Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si. Banta: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says ‘This is All India Radio!’ Banta: U looked troubled, what’s ur prob? Santa: I’m going to b a father Banta: But, that’s wonderful Santa: What’s wonderful! My wife doesn’t know about it yet! O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan? Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu jawaanan di badi lor hai…

.

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)

.

Hi .... jus for fun !!   Choose a number between 1 and 7 and know what sort of marriage you will be having............ get ready.... think abt the no. Ok wait now.. u'r sure right???????? don change your mind again......... ..... is it done?????????? Ok here goes the result: (place the pointer of mouse in front of number u have thought and drag it to right side.)   1. Arranged Marriage 2. No Marriage(Oops!) 3. Love Marriage 4. Love+Arranged Marriage 5. Marriage With Friend 6. You will have more than one marriage(Great!!-Please invite me for all) 7. Y ou'll go against your parents and marry

.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)                                                           .

.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[






 

 

Forward This Message To All Your Friends

Best Wishes

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forward This Message To All Your Friends

Best Wishes

 

.

 

Golden angel, Gondola, Venice, Italy

 

 

Hat, Gondola, Venice, Italy

 

 

Flowers on gondola, Venice, Italy

 

Gondolas, Bacino Orseolo, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondolas, Bridge of Sighs, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondola, Bridge of Sighs, Venice, Italy

 

 

Doge's Palace and Bridge of Sighs, Venice, Italy

 

 

Ferro of gondola, Venice, Italy

 

 

Bridge to Church, Venice, Italy

 

 

Parked gondolas, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondolas in golden waters, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondolas and Santa Maria della Salute, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondolas, Rialto Bridge, Venice, Italy

 

 

Gondola, Grand Canal, Venice, Italy

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

.

 

This is creativity ....

LOVE/ HATE LETTER...........

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative.
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and wants them
stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter

1       "The great love that I have for you
2        is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3        grows every day.  When I see you,
4        I do not even like your face;
5        the one thing that I want to do is to
6        look at other girls.  I never wanted to
7        marry you.  Our last conversation
8        was very boring and has not
9        made me look forward to seeing you again.
10       You think only of yourself.
11       If we were married, I know that I would find
12       life very difficult, and I would have no
13       pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14       to give, but it is not something that
15       I want to give to you.  No one is more
16       foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17       able to care for me and help me.
18       I sincerely want you to understand that
19       I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20       if you think this is the end. Do not try
21       to answer this.  Your letters are full of
22       things that do not interest me.  You have no
23       true love for me.  Good-bye! Believe me,
24       I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25       I am still your boyfriend."


So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.)  

 

Secret : I don't want to give the above wrote notes while handovering ... :)

 

 

 

Malaysian English

 

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below...
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc...

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get through. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEMENT, OVER A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you've said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you've been staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what had just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me!
Malaysians:Celaka u

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I feel Just like a lonely scarecrow; I miss you even more Than I think you truly know. What hard work it is To be without you, But at least I know sometime This job will be through!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm alone with and by myself Alone I learn to love myself   wanting to be found   I'm alone; dry like a stall flower wanting to be arouse by your love. I'm alone! Alone and alone!   My emotions bring back memories Alone,alone and alone! But,what can I do?   For only your love can save me...!!! So come and save me…                                                                                 I am someone I walked past a dead face even though the person was alive I saw my eyes in the mirror and cried at the sight I looked at a person I didn¹t know and I met a friend I got heads to turn when I walked past I learned a lot about myself when I lost a new friend I cried every tear in my body when I thought about love I got hit bad then got back in the ring I climbed a mountain of rocks and saw an eagle fly over- head I heard terrible things about myself when no one thought I was listening I realized I was strong when I didn¹t cry when it hurt I found out who I was when I was with someone else I thought I was lost forever when a friend found me I held a life in my hand and it was my own I was a pawn in someone else's game so I surrendered to a brook I walked the fine line between surviving and not wanting to survive I still am I am someone     when was the last time you whispered to me spoke words of love underneath the oak tree sung of the waters, the moon, and the stars what have I done that you've drifted so far when was the last time you wanted a kiss wanted to hold me forever in bliss wished for a dream and held tight to it's song seems but a memory of days gone too long when was the last time you jumped in the air while we danced  around as if at the fair where have you been to, I need to know where is the cheering that greeted you last has it been that long or has time moved fast what is your tale, has fate left your side come now, where do you hide? is it remembrance or just this one time has the joy left the green or shall it be mine will success return and the gold shine high or shall I be forsaken til the day that I die

 

This is creativity ....

LOVE/ HATE LETTER...........

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative.
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and wants them
stop their relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter

1       "The great love that I have for you
2        is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3        grows every day.  When I see you,
4        I do not even like your face;
5        the one thing that I want to do is to
6        look at other girls.  I never wanted to
7        marry you.  Our last conversation
8        was very boring and has not
9        made me look forward to seeing you again.
10       You think only of yourself.
11       If we were married, I know that I would find
12       life very difficult, and I would have no
13       pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14       to give, but it is not something that
15       I want to give to you.  No one is more
16       foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17       able to care for me and help me.
18       I sincerely want you to understand that
19       I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20       if you think this is the end. Do not try
21       to answer this.  Your letters are full of
22       things that do not interest me.  You have no
23       true love for me.  Good-bye! Believe me,
24       I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25       I am still your boyfriend."


So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.)  

 

Secret : I don't want to give the above wrote notes while handovering ... :)

 

 

 

Malaysian English

 

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below...
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc...

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get through. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEMENT, OVER A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you've said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you've been staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what had just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me!
Malaysians:Celaka u

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I feel Just like a lonely scarecrow; I miss you even more Than I think you truly know. What hard work it is To be without you, But at least I know sometime This job will be through!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm alone with and by myself Alone I learn to love myself   wanting to be found   I'm alone; dry like a stall flower wanting to be arouse by your love. I'm alone! Alone and alone!   My emotions bring back memories Alone,alone and alone! But,what can I do?   For only your love can save me...!!! So come and save me…                                                                                 I am someone I walked past a dead face even though the person was alive I saw my eyes in the mirror and cried at the sight I looked at a person I didn¹t know and I met a friend I got heads to turn when I walked past I learned a lot about myself when I lost a new friend I cried every tear in my body when I thought about love I got hit bad then got back in the ring I climbed a mountain of rocks and saw an eagle fly over- head I heard terrible things about myself when no one thought I was listening I realized I was strong when I didn¹t cry when it hurt I found out who I was when I was with someone else I thought I was lost forever when a friend found me I held a life in my hand and it was my own I was a pawn in someone else's game so I surrendered to a brook I walked the fine line between surviving and not wanting to survive I still am I am someone     when was the last time you whispered to me spoke words of love underneath the oak tree sung of the waters, the moon, and the stars what have I done that you've drifted so far when was the last time you wanted a kiss wanted to hold me forever in bliss wished for a dream and held tight to it's song seems but a memory of days gone too long when was the last time you jumped in the air while we danced  around as if at the fair where have you been to, I need to know where is the cheering that greeted you last has it been that long or has time moved fast what is your tale, has fate left your side come now, where do you hide? is it remembrance or just this one time has the joy left the green or shall it be mine will success return and the gold shine high or shall I be forsaken til the day that I die

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

Do not Disturb ..  I am online .. ...   :))

--

:::::   :::::

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are Girls adds taken from metromanial sites ....

 

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no
Place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

 

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after
Reading this mail...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single I don't have male, If any
One whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education
But I working all field in bangalroe.. If u like me u welcome to my heart...
When ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks
Yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I want very simple boy. From Brahmin educated family from orissa state she
Is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

 

(Homework?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. He may never
Create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can
Run smoothly. Thank you

 

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He should be good looking and should have a service. He Shoulsd have one
Brother and one sister. He should be educated.

 

 

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love
To make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am
Looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than I. Because I love myself
A lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........
Hold
My hand forever !!!

 

 

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow I
Amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot

 

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband should be as 'Shiva' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as
In KSBKBT......

 

(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much,
Ain't he?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while
Steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

 

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF
GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN
GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH
ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

 

 

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom
And he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde
Called the man of the lamp

 

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I love my pat ner I marriage the pat ner ok I search my pat ner and I love the
Pat ner ok thik hai the pat ner has a graduate ok

 

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering
From "Ok-syndrome")

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND
1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

 

(the "ok syndrome" again)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother
Sister complity marred

 

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Iam very simpel and hanest. I have three sister one brother and parent.
I am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi
Diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

 

(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

My name is farhanbegum and I am unmarried. Pleaes you marrige me pleaes

 

Pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

 

 

(height of desperation! J )

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank
he's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think
is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a
good girl. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.

 

bye bye.

 

 

(uttama purishinin)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I am kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

 

(No comments)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

 

 

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good'. i expect the good
minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste
accepted ...

 

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

 

(Zebra..???)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I'm looking out for who lives in bombay , boy simple who trust me lot should
be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

 

 

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable

 

(this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a groom.
I wish her best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one
soon.)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure.
because boy is the maharaja.

 

(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying
salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

Agreement 1

 

Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

 

 

 

Agreement 2

 

Don't take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

 

 

 

Agreement 3

 

Don't make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

 

 

 

Agreement 4

 

Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Husband

 

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've
    Been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
    These last two weeks have been hell.

 

 

Your boss called to tell me that you
    Had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
    Home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your
    Favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

 

 

You came home and ate in
    Two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't
    Tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything Either you're
    Cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

 

 

    P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
    To West Virginia together! Have a great life!

 

 

    Your Ex-wife

 

    ***********************

 

    Dear Ex-Wife

 

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
    And I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
    From what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out

 

 

    Your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut
    Off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You
    Look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
    You can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal,

 

 

You must have
    Gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven
    Years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because
    The price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
    Brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
    Negligee was $49.99.

 

 

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
    Could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
    Million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

 

 

But  When I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I
    Hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your
    Letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

 

 

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
    Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

.

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)

.

.

……Beggar

Bhagwan ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,

Doosre ki nahi to apni de de,

Bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle do dega,

Hillery hogi to Monika bhi dega

………Lawyer

I hereby beg to solicit myself as an …., eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom,,,,,,,, I’m looking for should……..strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. And objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

………Boatman

Must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send the photograph of motorboat.

………Banker

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

………Shaayar

Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,

Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,

Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,

To yaroo ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.

………Bevda (Drunker)

Wanted a girl. Girl’s gather should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for a trial. Sample should be ample.

………Car Mechanic

Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run household at a good average. Dent wont be tolerated especially in the head gear.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

.

……Beggar

Bhagwan ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,

Doosre ki nahi to apni de de,

Bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle do dega,

Hillery hogi to Monika bhi dega

………Lawyer

I hereby beg to solicit myself as an …., eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom,,,,,,,, I’m looking for should……..strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. And objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

………Boatman

Must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send the photograph of motorboat.

………Banker

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

………Shaayar

Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,

Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,

Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,

To yaroo ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.

………Bevda (Drunker)

Wanted a girl. Girl’s gather should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for a trial. Sample should be ample.

………Car Mechanic

Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run household at a good average. Dent wont be tolerated especially in the head gear.

 

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)

.

 

.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

 

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)

.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

 

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show Picture to view it.)    Garr…I am sick and tired of this person dragging me around town.         Do not try this at home unless ..............................  you have a good dental plan.             To serve and protect…don't you think that phrase is a bit over rated, after not all; some cops can't even protect their own home turf.

.

Click here to View the Video   In case the Video is not running smoothly in the 1st time, let it play completely and then play it again.

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Hamesha Deir Kar daita Hoon ...

Hamesha deir kar daita hoon mein
hur kaam karney mein
Zaroori baat kehni ho
koi wada nibhana ho
Usay awaz daini ho
usay wapis bulana ho
Hamesha deir kar daita hoon mein

Madad karni ho us ki,
Yaar ki dharas bandhana ho
Boohat dareena rastoon per
kisi sai milna jana ho
Hamesha deir kar daita hoon mein

Badaltay mosamoom ki sair mein
dil ko lagana ho
Kisi ko yaad rakhna ho,
kisi ko bhool jana ho
Hamesha deir kar daita hoon mein

Kisi ko muat sai pehlay
Kisi gham sai bachana ho
Haqeeqat aur thi kuch
Us ko ja kay batana ho

Hamesha deir kar daita hoon mein

 

 

Gila Bhee Nahee ...

Bichar giya hai too ab is say kuch gila bhee nahee
Keh sach too yah hai k wo shaks mara tha bhee nahee
Main cahtee hoon isay or cahnay k siwa
Maray liya koi rasta bhee nahee
Hum ak dosray ki simt chal paray thay magar
Kadam rukay bhee nahee rasta kata bhee nahee
Dhowan sa kuch too yahan baraf say bhee utha hai
Soo dil jalon ka yah asa koi pata bhee nahee
Ragoon main jamay howay khon ki taha hai
Wo harf-e-hijar jo is nay abhee kaha bhee nahi.

.