When God Laughs? 1-100
1. God laughs when he see China exports swell to $782b and Indian exports languishing at $85b from $33b in 1996 yet Indian politicians and their blind followers tell the world India shall over take all countries in GDP by 2050.
2. God laughs when Indian exports of electronics goods & transport equipment are just $1b & $4b annually i.e. 0.1% to 0.5% of the world trade yet India claims to be an “Industrial Power”.
3. God laughs when a person who don’t want to die, instead of using “Sorbitrate” that cost few paise is in his pocket, prays to the god to come down from heavens to save him.
4. God laughs when attacked by allergy instead of taking “Avil” tablet, which cost few paise buy tins of “Chawanprash” for whole family worth Rs. 500 per month.
5. God laughs when government hire Win Chadda and Quotrochi to advise on defense procurement than its own generals.
6. God laughs when Indian trains and fighter aircrafts
crash every week and government is happy in distributing a couple of lakhs rupees each to the victims.
7. God laughs when qualified and capable persons are defeated in elections to unqualified criminals, corrupt and dishonest.
8. God laughs when 50% of Indians are hungry and starving yet political parties launch Shinning Campaign.
9. God laughs when 14,000 bank accounts are opened bearing same address just to facilitate allotment of IPO issue to an individual.
10. God laughs when Indian government with poverty everywhere in countryside, plan to transfer most of Himalaya waters in North of India to South of India even if farmers in Ganga basin don’t get water for irrigation and unmindful of the fact that god delivers twice more rains in TN than North Indian states.
11. God laughs when Ambanis are caught bribing the government every year and even open regular exchanges to pass off international calls as locals yet government approve more subsides and incentives to Ambanis even as state owned companies are made to die.
12 . God laughs when a person has septic wound in his bottom who does not apply ‘Soframycin” ointment costing Rs.10/- for a tube that last 2 years but goes to a yogi to cure it.
13. God laughs when people are starving and hungry but the grains in government stores are rotting and eaten by rats and insects.
14. God laughs when people touch the feet of “Pirated & Commercial” god men and seek their blessings.
15. God laughs when people marry for “Dowry” and burn the bride for dowry.
16. God laughs when wives register fake criminal cases against all her in laws.
17. God laughs when children see rape stories and adult movies as universal on television.
18. God laughs when parents encourage children to participate in antakshri of cheap songs and dance to vulgar item numbers.
19. God laughs when Ganguli doesn’t want to retire gracefully from cricket but insist on staying in the team in spite of declined poor form and millions come on street to campaign for his inclusion in the team.
20. God laughs when people in India enjoy sports not by playing but watching on TV Sachin or Sehwag play cricket.
21. God laughs when eminent people on astrologers advise use back door for entry/exit.
22. God laughs when rivers are encroached by slums and builders and rainwater forms large lakes in residential colonies.
23. God laughs when for every bag of genuine seed, 4 bags of spurious seeds, fertilizer and pesticides are sold to farmers.
24. God laughs when interest rates to buy Mercedes car is 5% but Auto-Taxi operators are charged 120% interest by money lenders and license to operate Taxis cost 2-3 times cost of vehicles.
25. God laughs when Lok Sabha dismisses corrupt MPs and Supreme Court serve notice to the speaker of Lok Sabha on the petition by corrupt MPs.
26. God laughs when 2 liter bottle of Coke cost Rs.43/- but a liter of full cream milk cost only Rs.17/-.
27. God laughs when
orchid owners get Rs. 4/- per kg for their annual Apple crop that is retailed in Delhi for Rs.40/- per kg.
28. God laughs when indigenous accurate electricity meters that last over 25 years but cost Rs. 400/- each but BSES RIL buy Electronics from China that can be easily rigged to run fast for Rs. 2500/- each that may last few years.
29. God laughs when people build big houses with black money and use 5-10 air
conditioners but reversing the meters to show no consumption when 50% of villages and over 80% of rural household have no light in their homes.
30. God laughs when people train their sons and daughters to be “Commission Agent” than scientist, doctor, engineer or inventor.
31. God laughs when parents of infant children appear for interview to get their children admitted to kindergartens.
32. God laughs when school bags of children weigh more than their body weight.
33. God laughs when school children get up at 6AM to go to school while their parents reach office at 11AM. (Even parliament sessions begin at 11AM)
34. God laughs when people build houses on 100% of plot area with basements but forget to build garages then buy many cars to be parked in front of homes of others and insist on parking it anywhere they please.
35. God laughs when in Punjab a bottle of locally brewed bear cost more than a bottle of country liquor.
36. God laughs when people have to reserve seats two months in advance
for travel in trains for even short to medium distance like Delhi to Agra/ Ambala/ Chandigarh.
37. God laughs when most often time required to buy reservation ticket in trains is more than the journey time.
38. God laughs when air travel is cheaper than Rajdhani train.
39. God laughs when a person is required to explain his purpose to a Chaprasi to meet a Minister or a Secretary or even a lowly class-II officer.
40. God laughs when MP is illiterate but his chaprasi is a graduate.
41. God laughs when state of Punjab is not connected by direct rail link to
its capital Chandigarh that may cost $10 million.
42. God laughs when India run trains on worn out tracks that need urgent repairs and cause derailments every week but plans new track parallel to it at huge cost.
43. God laughs when lowest value exports of iron ore and such minerals have tripled in few years blocking the ports and holding back important high value imports and
exports goods for days.
44. God laughs when full payment is released but not a grain of urea is shipped by the foreign exporter.
45. God laughs when bricks and stones are shipped in containers and export incentives are released to non-existing firms.
46. God laughs when earthlings claim they have direct link to the god.
47. God laughs when people sell their body and soul to their employers for life.
48. God laughs when people cook their food in Olive Oil and command others to grow Jatropa Oil to run their cars.
49. God laughs when holy Ganga is polluted with sewage and industrial waste and all efforts to clean it fail.
50. God laughs when people collect donations in the name of public service to enrich themselves.
51. God laughs when people go on padyatra after Phoolwati.
52. God laughs when people offer “Direct To God” service on earth.
53. God laughs when people grow Mango tree in their back yard but preach others to grow Jatropha.
54. God laughs when people to have mortgaged their soul to earthlings claim to have direct links
with god.
55. God laughs when useless people don’t want capable to succeed.
56. God laughs when dubious people rule and get undeserved honors and let S.K. Dubey die.
57. God laughs when people who are ready to
stab others to please their masters.
58. God laughs when people mix Dalda in Desi Ghee.
59. God laughs when godmen who live in posh air conditioned home, eat Cadbury chocolate with nuts, basmati rice with imported dals, drink Nestle Milk & Bisleri Water, preach others simple living in huts, meal of bajre ki roti in a day and drink polluted water and claim starving is good for health.
60. God laughs when godmen who sell truck loads of desi medicines to cure others rush to AIIMS hospital whenever they feel sick.
61. God laughs when nephew of an Indian prime ministers is thrown out of a running train and he doesn’t know of it for many days. Then some innocent person is caught, tortured and made to confess the crime.
62. God laughs when reserved seats of medical doctors in train are forcibly occupied by trainee policemen who upon objection by doctors teach them rule of law by throwing them out of running train.
63. God laughs when one of the poorest countries in per capita GDP imports most of the gold produced in the world.
64. God laughs when women wear gems & jewellery to night
weddings and get robbed and killed.
65. God laughs when businessmen and women carry cash and jewellery in trains and make train robbery lucrative business.
66. God laughs when on mere suspicion of petty theft a teenage child his hung upside down from a tree but there is no similar punishment for top cheats who re-route international calls to cheat public sector telecom companies in $billions.
67. God laughs when Chief Minister is forced to resign on high court orders and his illiterate spouse is appointed CM instead.
68. God laughs when roads of poor quality are built just before monsoon rains only to develop big potholes within days of heavy rains.
69. God laughs when people
are not given correct information of departure and arrival of trains and flights when they are invariably late.
70. God laughs when travel in overnight trains cost more than day trains.
71. God laughs when Rs. 1568 crores is granted to RIL last year alone for exporting petroleum products that neither earn any taxes to the government nor create any new employment.
72. God laughs when Mukesh Ambani father of corruption and unethical businesses is inducted in to IMM in India.
73. God laughs when RIL operate many legal and hundreds of clandestine entities but are yet to take its first patent.
74. God laughs when bulk domestic tariffs approved for BSES Mumbai are substantially more
than retail domestic tariff.
75. God laughs when combine harvested grains in Punjab are spread on the ground in procurement markets to be infected by insects on day one reducing its value and necessitating pest treatment.
76. God laughs when Mani Shanker’s over a year long diplomacy to bring Iran / Kazakhstan gas through 3000 km pipeline fails but RIL is allowed to “Horde” huge gas reserves in Krishna Godavari basin
discovered for three years.
77. God laughs when people prefer Swiss Banks to Indian Banks to deposit money.
78. God laughs when to see off or receive an adult going to or returning from foreign country van loads or even busloads of relatives accompany him to the airport.
79. God laughs when mom and pop storeowners disguise as common customers takeaway good percentage of merchandize for sale in departmental stores for subsequent release in their retail stores.
80. God laughs when barricades for Republic Day parade in Delhi are erected and removed over 3-4 months period.
81. God laughs when young students in thousands are brought to Delhi for republic day parade weeks ahead of
their final exams.
82. God laughs when Saudi Airlines and Khazakistan Airline jets flying in opposite directions are made to collide in mid air with high precision in free airspace but courts find pilots of airlines to be blind and responsible for crash.
83. God laughs when to benefit food stall owners, passenger train on platform is given green signal to move on to main line on which super fast express is rushing in at 120 kmph to hit it from behind.
84. God laughs when witness turn hostile and BMW car becomes Tata truck.
85. God laughs when leaking trail of BMW leads to the residence of the offender and courts ignore physical evidence.
86. God laughs when
run over injuries caused by a BMW and Tata truck are entirely different which courts also ignore.
87. God laughs when only BMW could have run at 150 kmph speed to silently approach the barricades leaving no time for policemen to escape to 90 kmph maximum speed of noisy Tata Truck.
88. God laughs when wheelbase of BMW and Tata truck are different, tire sizes and Tata truck has two rear tires but courts ignore it in spite of public criticism.
89. God laughs when guilty enjoy freedom and some hired poor man under go jail sentence.
90. God laughs when hardened criminals find jail as secure luxury hideout to carry out their criminal activities in carefree and relaxed manner.
91. God laughs when home minister of India needs maximum security.
92. God laughs when a civil engineer formed a fake unknown company, secured contracts to build four sections of NHAI, took advance of Rs.64 crores on the strength of forged bank guarantee and disappeared even as late SK Dubey objected to this policy in memo to PM that was leaked.
93. God laughs when policemen are largely engaged in collecting “Hafta” for their
superiors than keep an eye on thieves, pickpockets, snatchers and molesters.
94. God laughs when Fire Service tenders arrive at fire site one hour after the call but carry no water in their tanks or hoses leak.
95. God laughs when on the advice of APJK, people in expression of deepest loyalty to India, uproot their Mango plantations and plant poisonous Jatropha in place that no animal, bird or fish shall eats.
96. God laughs when public representatives call police district heads to release criminals in police custody or register fake cases against political opponents.
97. God laughs when 50 seaters bus is operated on newly built broad gauge rail lines between Merta Road & Merta City in Rajasthan that block normal traffic for hours in a day at several places on route every time it operates.
98. God laughs when cabinet ministers convert residential bungalows allotted to them in to dairy farms.
99. God laughs when government aided four-story primary school with thatched roof enrolling over 500 children had only a narrow entrance, no playground catches fire and hundreds of children are burnt alive.
100. God laughs when
government figures released and reported are mostly in percentage than actual amount leaving the readers guessing.
Ravinder Singh
Inventor.
Yahoo! Autos. Looking for a sweet ride? Get pricing, reviews, more on new and used cars.
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