Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
ATM PRANK
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
TOO MUCH DETAILS
SEXY CANNON CAMERA COMMERCIAL
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The 7 Ups!
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1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"This is the day the Lord hath made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24
**********
2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance,
But the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7
**********
3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth,
So He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3
**********
4. Stand Up!!
. . For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
We will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10
**********
5. Look Up !!
. . . To the Lord.
"I can do everything through God who strengthens me".
Philippians 4:13
**********
6. Reach Up !!
. . .For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6
**********
7. Lift Up !!
. . . Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead
PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."
Philippians 4:6
**********
A POSITIVE THOUGHT
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The problems of "HE" and "SHE"..
The problems with "HE" as thought by "SHE"
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;
If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valuable Banking
Click here to join this group
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate
their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies and
Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the
beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live
on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh
deposit cheque yet to Bank?"
No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to
them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and
asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The Result of Intiative
Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all
hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid
$500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.
Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father
and said, " I will let the boys explain for themselves."
Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the
Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with
Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo
inventory?"
Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand
bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone
from a member of the crew."
When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the
supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the
cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."
An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane
carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand
painted bamboo trays.
George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working
hours were over when he finally returned.
"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It
was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole
lot.
I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a
bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor
radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each.
There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't
try to do anything with them."
When George left the office, the employer smiled. " You probably noticed," he
said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but
George does without being told."
*********
The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
GOLDEN TELEPHONE (NICE STORY @ MUST CHECK)
An American decided to write a book
about famous churches around the
World .
So he bought a plane ticket and
took a trip to China .
On his first day he was inside a
church taking photographs when
he Noticed a golden telephone
mounted on the wall with a sign
that read "$10,000 per call".
The American, being intrigued,
asked a priest who was strolling
by what
The telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a
direct line to heaven and that for
$10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest
and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan . There, at
a very large cathedral, he saw the
Same golden telephone with the
same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same
kind of telephone he saw in
China and
He asked a nearby nun what its
purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct
line to heaven and that for
$10,000
He Could talk to God.
"O.K., thank you," said the
American.
He then traveled to Pakistan ,
Sri lanka , Russia , Germany and
France .
In every church he saw the same
golden telephone with the same
"$10,000
Per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont
decided to travel to up to India to
See if Indians had the same phone.
He arrived in India , and again, in
the first church he entered, there
Was the same golden telephone,
but this time the sign under it
read
"One Rupee per call."
The American was surprised so
he asked the priest about the
sign.
Father, I've traveled all over
World and I've seen this same
golden
Telephone in many churches. I'm
told that it is a direct line to
Heaven,
But in the US the price was
$10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?"
Readers, it is your turn........
Think .....before you scroll
down...
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The priest smiled and answered,
"You're in India now, Son - it's a
Local Call".
This is the only heaven on the Earth.
KEEP SMILING
If you are proud to be an
Indian pass this on!!!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Note: forwarded message attached.
----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
10 signs guy is in love
10. You've forgotten your ex
More often than not, a breakup is followed by a significant amount of time spent
thinking about your ex and wondering whether or not you made the right decision
in going your separate ways. Depending on how long the two of you were together,
these doubts can resurface again and again.
Ever since you met this new one, however, the thought of getting back together
with your ex is the furthest thing from your mind. Come to think of it, you
barely recall what you found so great about her in the first place.
9. You can't stop thinking about her
Instead, you are consumed by thoughts of her. She just pops into your head for
no apparent reason, and you wonder if she thinks of you half as much as you
think of her. You wonder what she's up to and even consider calling her (but
refrain from doing so for fear of looking overeager).
But it gets worse. You're out with your friends and you see something in a shop
window and think about how much she would like that particular item, or you
notice a poster for a show that she would love, but normally wouldn't even have
looked twice at it.
If she's the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep and the first thing
on your mind when you wake up ‑- and you've even dreamed of her on a
couple of occasions ‑- then you don't really even need to read on to know
if you're in love (but should anyway, just to be sure).
8. You care about her
There is a reason why you don't really want to know too much about the chick you
had a one-night stand with: You don't love her. When you're in love with a
woman, you want to know all about her: who she is, what she thinks, what makes
her laugh. You truly care about her and her feelings.
If you truly love a woman, you feel bad if she had a bad day or is upset about
something. You don't try to cheer her up because you have to, but because you
can't help it.
7. You find her quirks charming
The fact that she carries her passport with her everywhere she goes ‑-
just in case ‑- and that, when she's eating, she can't help but construct
every forkful so that it's the perfect blend of ingredients fills you with an
inexplicable feeling of happiness.
She does and says things that make her different, and you like it. You can't
quite put your finger on why, but it doesn't even matter. You like her just the
way she is.
6. You have great chemistry
You can't be in love with someone that you have no chemistry with. If you seem
to always be on the same wavelength, and think in similar ways, that's a great
sign. If you also generate enough heat to set off a five-alarm fire bell, then
she is probably someone that you could fall in love with, if you aren't there
already.
5. You don't notice other women as much
Did you see that gorgeous blonde that just walked by? What do you mean, "no"?!?
Although you can't help noticing a beautiful woman when one walks by, when
you're in love, some of them tend to slip under the radar, while others just
pale in comparison to her. Furthermore, you don't seem to be flirting half as
much as you used to.
You are slowly realizing that she's often the only woman in the room that
matters, and for some reason that suits you just fine.
4. You love spending time with her
This one is pretty obvious but important nonetheless. You look forward to seeing
her, and don't care much about what the two of you will be doing. Lately, just
going for a walk with her sounds like the best way you could possibly spend an
evening.
Furthermore, when you're not together, you miss her and wish you were spending
time together
3. You don't mind compromising sometimes
There was a time when it was your way or the highway, but with her it's
different. Not that she asks you to, but you don't mind missing a night out with
the guys to be with her. And you find yourself trying to incorporate her into
your plans or altering them to accommodate her.
You also find yourself not putting up a fight when she wants to go to
Shakespeare in the Park. Although your friends find this very amusing, you know
that deep down, they wish that they had found a love like yours.
2. Other priorities take a back seat
You used to train religiously, but lately, if she's free for dinner, you don't
mind missing a workout. Not only that, but your workaholic tendency of bringing
home your work on weekends to get ahead seems a bit excessive to you as of late.
Your ever-important "to do" list seems quite stagnant these days, as being with
her always manages to render your other plans and obligations obsolete. What was
it that you absolutely had to do by four o'clock again?
1. You start thinking about the future and she's in it
It used to be that the future with a woman meant your date on Saturday night,
but with this woman, the future seems infinite. Not only do you plan to see her
this weekend, but you want to see her a year from now as well.
When planning your next vacation, you know you want to spend it with her, and
not a random beach bunny you happen to meet while you're there. And when you get
an invitation to a wedding that takes place three months from now, you ask her
to be your date without thinking that it's too far away to tell if you'll still
be together.
She's the one
If you are currently dating a woman that makes you act in any of the ways
mentioned above, then you, my friend, are seriously falling for her. It's time
to put away the little black book for a while and enjoy the ride.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM
Drunk Santa Singh
There was once a competition involving three gruelling tests. The participants
had to do the following in immediate succession:
1.) Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go
2) Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare
hands.
3) And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.
Many people bravely tried their hands (or should I say mouths) at it. Few could
get beyond the first stage. And the inebriated few who managed it, got promptly
eaten up by the starving lion. There was none who could read the third stage.
And then, one fine day, Santa Singh walked into the contest. Five bottles of
whiskey were nothing for him. He emptied five bottles in five gulps. Then he
said, " Bhale change hai hum, thagde hai. Bathao, lion kahan hai." When shown
the room, he coolly walked in.
There was no hint of fear on his face, but rather the cool confidence of a
person who knew he could do it.
Sounds of a mammoth fight came from the room. Screams of the Sardar and growls
of the lion were intermingled. Thumps and thuds which shook the very earth
ensued. All of a sudden there was a piercing, heart-rending roar from the Lion.
The audience waited with bated breath, their hair stood on end. And then, as
suddenly as it had begun, the titanic roar stopped. An eerie silence prevailed.
As the audience watched, with eyes popping out, the door of the room opened, and
out came the Sardar. Badly bruised, with blood streaming from his face, hands
and legs, he stumbled out - victorious, nevertheless. His face had the glow of
satisfaction of an emperor who had just won a battle.
And then he asked, "Where is the woman whose eyes I have to pluck out?"
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM
American Thinking (Joke)
Man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.
When the dog is about to bite the woman,
the man intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.
He said "That was great.
I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.
Tomorrow the headline will be
'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.
I am from US". Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be
US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.
I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read .... .... .... .... .... .... ........
.... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG
Please Note: This is the only joke, please do not take it personal
PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM
Pappu Paas Ho Gaya
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-\
*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-\
*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-\
*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-\
*-*-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-\
*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but
also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is
blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
--- In themerchantnavyclub@..., shikher jindal
<shikherjindal@...> wrote:
>
> hi vinayak,
> good to see ur interest.just keep on looking various
advertisements in various newspapers.
> else ou can contact me again if find it difficult
> take care n best wishes 4 ur career
>
> v99_060687 <v99_060687@...> wrote:
> hi....
> my name is vinayak n i m studying B.E in mechanical...
> i want to join merchant navy ... so hw i should search for the
> sponsers... n also the colleges for joinin.....
>
> thank u da... so wats ur profession....n a need the full
information abt the merchant navy...
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Building a website is a piece of cake.
> Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
i want to join merchant navy after compleation of mech. engg.give me the
information about this.
---------------------------------
Why delete messages? Unlimited storage is just a click away.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hi vinayak,
good to see ur interest.just keep on looking various advertisements in
various newspapers.
else ou can contact me again if find it difficult
take care n best wishes 4 ur career
v99_060687 <v99_060687@...> wrote:
hi....
my name is vinayak n i m studying B.E in mechanical...
i want to join merchant navy ... so hw i should search for the
sponsers... n also the colleges for joinin.....
---------------------------------
Building a website is a piece of cake.
Yahoo! Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hi....
my name is vinayak n i m studying B.E in mechanical.. .
i want to join merchant navy ... so how i should search for the
sponsers... n also the colleges for joining.....
--- In themerchantnavyclub@..., "v99_060687"
<v99_060687@...> wrote:
>
> hi....
> my name is vinayak and i m studying B.E in mechanical...
> i want to join merchant navy ... so how i should search for the
> sponsers... and also the colleges for joining.....
>
hi....
my name is vinayak n i m studying B.E in mechanical.. .
i want to join merchant navy ... so hw i should search for the
sponsers... n also the colleges for joinin.....
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hi....
my name is vinayak n i m studying B.E in mechanical...
i want to join merchant navy ... so hw i should search for the
sponsers... n also the colleges for joinin.....
dear all,
we are looking for the top four ranks.vacancies are as follows: -
MARINERS JUNCTION
REQUIRED URGENTLY FOR OUR PRINCIPALS
MELBOURNE, ITALY & SINGAPORE
FLEET OF CHEMICAL, AFRAMAX TANKERS/PRODUCT TANKERS
Following officers with PETROLEUM+CHEMICAL DCE
MASTER CHIEF ENGINEER
CHIEF OFFICER 2ND ENGINEER
2ND OFFICER 3RD ENGINEER
3RD OFFICER 4TH ENGINEER
ELECTRICAL OFFICER
WE URGENTLY REQUIRE FOR OUR BULK CARRIER FLEET
MASTER CHIEF ENGINEER
CHIEF OFFICER 2ND ENGINEER
2ND OFFICER 3RD ENGINEER
3RD OFFICER 4TH ENGINEER
CADETS ELECTRICAL OFFICER
FITTERS TME’S
WE ALSO REQUIRED FOR OUR RIGS, HOUSE KEEPERS WITH PASSPORT STCW & ALL RELEVANT
DOCUMENTS.
DECK & ENGINE RATINGS MAY ALSO APPLY.
WE ALSO REQUIRED FOR OUR HOME TRADE VESSEL
MASTER (HOME TRADE/NCV) CHIEF ENGINEER (NCV/MOT CLASS-II)
CHIEF OFFICER (NCV) 2ND ENGINEER (NCV/MOT CLASS-III)
2ND OFFICER (NCV/NWKO) 3RD ENGINEER (NCV/MOT CLASS-IV)
FOR OUR CRUISE LINERS
GENERAL STEWARDS STORE KEEPERS
OILER/WIPER AB
CONTACT US AT -
SREENIKETAN, 375/4B, OPPOSITE TO PARNASREE BUS STAND,
PARNASREE PALLY, BEHALA,KOLKATA-700060.
PHONE NUMBER – 033-24078499 Mobile : 9903539848, 9339143879
E MAIL ADDRESS charu_bhonsle@...
if u r interested and u know someone who is ready to join then plz contact us or
mail ur resume.
regards,
charusheela bhonsle
manager
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hi Friends!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hi Friends!
Sometimes u just cant predict what ur gonna find in ur mail! Just
opened my mail n guess what? voip !
Have fun Guys, i think am gonna love it here, i just hope somebody
sends me a mail soon!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Hiya,
I would love to hear from a very old and dear friend, his name is
ASHOK GOGIA, he trained in London (Tower Bridge). in the 1970´s Anyone
know of him? or how I can get in touch with him?
hai! earn free money ! no investment !
this is a excellent link ! dont waste your time .
get dialy 150 dollars . no credit card.
please go to http://tinyurl.com/2zloj6
kelly :
thanks:
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