Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: MOHIT SETH
Sent: Tuesday, Nov 01, 2007 3:42 PM


The Pig Drawing Personality Test


  The best part about this is that you can forward it round your office and then
laugh at everyone's crap drawings. We are thinking about setting up a small pig
art gallery in the corner of the office here.


  Don't cheat by reading the whole thing first. It is hysterical if you do it
right!


  Get a blank piece of paper , draw a picture of a whole pig on it, not just the
head , just a basic drawing though , don't spend too long on it .


  DRAW THE PIG BEFORE YOU GO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THE TEST WILL NOT WORK!!
NO CHEATING,
DRAW THE PIG FIRST
HAVE YOU DONE THE DRAWING??
IF NOT, DO IT NOW
IT IS REALLY FUNNY IF YOU DO IT RIGHT!
OK' NOW TO THE INTERESTING STUFF.........
The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits
of the drawer.

·                 If the pig is drawn to the top of the paper , you are positive
and optimistic.

Toward the middle , you are realistic.

Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic , and have a tendency to behave
negatively .

· Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates
(birthdays, etc.)

Facing right , you are innovative and active , but don't have a strong sense of
family , nor do you always remember dates .

Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate
and neither fear nor avoid discussions .

· With lots of details , you are analytical, cautious , and distrustful.

With few details, you are emotional and naive , you care little for details and
are a risk taker .

· With less than 4 legs showing , you are insecure or are living through a
period of major change .

With 4 legs showing , you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals

If you have drawn more than 4 legs , you are stupid .

· The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the
better.

· The length of the tail indicates the quality of your Love life, and once again
the longer ,the better.
Have Fun

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM





Life and A Cup Of Coffee

Hi

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day
are not enough, remember the mayonnaise  jar......and the coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked  up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the
students if the jar was  full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them intothe jar. He
shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled  into the open areas between the golf
balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He  asked once more if the jar was
full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured
the entire contents into the jar, effectively  filling the empty space between
the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize
that this jar represents your life.

The golf ball are the important things--your family, your children, your health,
your friends, your favorite passions--things  that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your
car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for
the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are  important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get  medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18 holes.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix  the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem,
there's  always room for a cup of coffee with ur friend."


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM

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Here are a few reasons  why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
yo! u say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM

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Going to Propose a Girl ?


Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...


1) Nahi.................???

2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare.......

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai.??

8) Magar last year to Maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu.??

11) Itni is baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "..Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai... L........... "

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you . (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " . (Which we
guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya AB tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki. (probably followed
by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do.

Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)

Girl: saat janam

21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon.

23) Now that's a real tragedy..

Girl: Hee hee ..hee hee hee...hee ..hee..hee..

Hee hee ..hee hee hee...hee ..hee..hee..

24) Boy: I love U!

Gal: I don't think ABT all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho.

27) Kaun as number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein. Ha ha ha ha..

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina NE "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U...

Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai..

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40) My friend in college got one classic reply . "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

41) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."

42)Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir
bhi nahi sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

43) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

44) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this.cant we be just
good friends for ever

45) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

46) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

47) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all
the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

48) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..

49)hehe I didn't expect that from you....

50)nice joke ...

51)tum ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisal gaye.....

52)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil,ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme
interest hai ..... And then walks on.............

53)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata.... Peheli bari hai kya?? Koi baat nahi
mein batati Hun ???...




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM


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Lets have Fun!

Women are like Elephants.
I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. -- W.C. Fields

Guys are like dogs.
They keep coming back.
Ladies are like cats.
Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. -- Lenny Bruce

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and
end up with a station wagon. -- Tim Allen

With my wife I don't get no respect.
I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter
joined me. -- Rodney Dangerfield

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like
mine:
We were both crazy about girls. -- Groucho Marx

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all
my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.' -- Mark Klein

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very
happy? -- Benny Hill

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, 'Thyroid problem?' -- Emo Philips

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. -- Les Dawson

A girl phoned me the other day and said ...
Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. -- Rodney
Dangerfield

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door,
who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always (Always Right).

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM


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Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

INFOSYSism

You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, &

send them one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism

GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

SATYAMism

You have a cow. You have its milk. But don't know what to do
with it!

DELLism

Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both &
sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism

You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to

innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to
feed poorer cows.

SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help
milk cows.

SAPism
You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking
consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press
2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions
through authorised resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds
out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because
Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Shilpi Bhatia
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 4:44 PM

HELL'O' LISTEN All

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL


Never love a Testing girl since she alwaysdoubts U .

Never love a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key
.

Never love a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and
EXIT from house.

Never love a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never love a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never Love a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never love a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

Never love a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never love a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never love a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles .

Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY


SO MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY ONLY.


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
  KALPNA CHAWLA'S (last journey)

(Please let the pics open. Might take some time on a slower connection. Or might
be server problem
If you can't see the pictures, right click the small Red-Cross and choose Show
Picture to view it.)

if no picture seen then may be you groups settings set to daily digest please
change ur settings to individual mails
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM

Smart Indian's

An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan
officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new
Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything is  checked out,and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral
for
the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and
parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that
u are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"

The Indian replied ,"Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeks for 15 bucks?"

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Shilpi Bhatia
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 4:44 PM


What's happiness?

It is not easy to define happiness. Individual
preferences overtake each other's description of the
same.

People often ask: "where do we find happiness?" money,
richness, beauty, coloures, scents, nature etc. all
give us immense pleasure. God has created this
beautiful world only to enchant the occupants. There
is some pleasure, which we can drive without directing
our efforts towards it.

The case of nature is the best
example. The only thing we need is the inclination.
Like the ways to God, the roads to happiness are also
many. To derive pleasure out of one's life is not
something that comes directly from god. It lies within
us. What we need to rekindle this state of mind is
willingness to think wisely and positively.


The mind is a hotbed of emotions. To have the right
mix of emotions, we need a better actor in us. How to
emote to get the right mix of the mindset is what
matters. Simple things can add colour to our
disenchanted life if we have the time to pause and
think.


Plenty of anything cannot make one happy. But having
this plenty disbursed to the have-nots make us feel
the joy of others.


There were two neighbours. One was rich and the other
the poor. Both were preparing for Diwali. The rich man
decorated his house elaborately and illuminated it
with lights. The poor man only lit a diya at the
entrance of his house.


They were both intimated by god that he would visit
them on New year. The rich man was happy that he had
outdone his neighbour. The poor man was happy that his
diya was glowing in the darkness and that its light
had a divine touch.

Finally, God came to settle their
claims. His attention was first drawn to the single
diya that had lit up an entire dark patch. God was
attracted to this and did not even look at the
brightly-lit house on the other side.

The verdict was
clear. We all yearn for happiness. Having plenty does
not necessarily guarantee happiness. So don't wait for
heaven to come to you. Make efforts to steer your mind
to a state of happiness by sharing the little you
have. Even a single lamp can cheer up a completely
dark area. Light it and you will find happiness
shining there in your inner self.


PLEASE PASS ON



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Shilpi Bhatia
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 4:44 PM
Finger Nails Art -2

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Shilpi Bhatia
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 4:44 PM
Cool Lips Art

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Leena
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM


I wonder how this still work

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Leena
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
Rehrdi PCO (WHEEL PCO)

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PHONE KAR LO PHONE


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM

JOIN THIS GROUP AND RECEIVE COOL MAILS


BILL CLINTON VOODOO FUNNY VIDEO


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
SANTA Ji


Santa needed some money desperately. Banta

Tells him that if he prays to Shivji in a temple, hisprayers would surely be
answered. So Santa goes to a Shiva temple. The temple had alarge Lord
Shivastatue. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joinshis hands and says his
prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho.Saannoo 100 rupayen
chahiye. Kripa karo." (OH GOD I NEED 100$ PLZZ HELP ME) The priest sees Santa
praying. He wants to help Santabut knows that a Sikh will never accept the
money. Sohe drops a 100-rupee note,from behind the statue, sothat Santa can not
see
  him. After Santa had says his prayers, and opens his eyes.He sees the noteand
thinks that god has listened to his prayers. Hetakes the note and goes away.
However he is back again next day for money. Now thepriest is really annoyed
with Santa. The Priest decides that he is not going to give anymore money to
Santa. He changes the big Shivji statuewith a smaller one of Ganapathi(LORD SHIV
SON) that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However hedoes not
notice the difference.Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his handsand
says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho.Ajj to
saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." (OH GOD YOU ARE GREAT I NEED 50$
PLZZ HELP ME) After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not findany money. So
he lowers his demand a bit. Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne
mahanho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karojee." (OH GOD YOU ARE
GREAT I NEED just 10$ PLZZ HELP ME) Again he slowly opens his eyes and does not
find anymoney. He slowly raises his head and now notices
  the small Ganapathi(LORD SHIV SON) statue. He carefully looks left andthen
right, and then slowly moves a bit forward nearthe statue. Then he whispers to
the statue: "Puttar, Papa kitthehein ??!! (WHERE IS YOUR DAD????)

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM

  You might be best friends one year,

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------










pretty good friends the next year,



don't talk that often the next year,

and don't want to talk at all the year after that.


So, I just wanted to say,

even if I never talk to you again in my life,


you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,


I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.



Send this to all your friends,







no matter how often you talk,


or how close you are,



and send it to the person who sent it to you.


Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them,



and tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend,

someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all,

just remember this text

and take comfort in knowing
that i care about you and always will b there when u need a FRiEND.....

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
VASTU GUIDELINES ON VEHICLE PARKING:-



Your cars reflect your personalities. In some countries it is practice to give a
personal name to their own vehicles. Most of the people spend hours at a time in
their cars which become like mini- homes. Like our homes, they become an
extension of ourselves.



A neat, clean car generates a different impression of its owner to a dirty one.
Negative energy in cars has the power to create a lasting damage and destruction
to their owners and to others. To keep a clean space and healthy flow of energy,
remove clutter such as fast food cartons, car park tickets, confectionary
wrappers etc. Look after them as your family member.



Vehicle being important medium of transport,  some rules of vastu can also be
applied here. Following such  rules  one derives maximum benefit of vastu
science. In metro cities it may be difficult to park he vehicle in desired
direction but it is possible to choose any positive prime direction i.e. east or
north.

1.                 Vehicle parking should be on the North West location of the
plot or building. This rule is applied where the vehicle is parked for maximum
period of time.

2.                 Vehicle should be parked facing positive directions i.e.east
or north.

3.                 Parking at south west should be avoided. The car remains in
the garage for longer period or it will require frequent repairs. In short the
vehicle will not be useful for the owner.

4.                 Vehicle should not be parked facing south. South facing
vehicle does not help user in positive way. User may feel his/her target or work
is not going in positive direction.

5.                 Business people should park their vehicle facing North.  This
will help them in getting better deal in business. People in job should park
their vehicle facing east. This will improve their intelegence and skill to work
better in their work place. If parking is done facing west of North west corner,
there will too much traveling for owner of vehicle. Whenever you have important
project or business deal, park your vehicle facing north or east on the previous
night.

6.                 Roof of the parking area should have slope towards east or
north.

7.                 The slope in the parking area should be towards east or
north.

tHE eND.......

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
~ Cheers to Life !!! Cheers To Friendship ~

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!!! Cheers to Life !!!

!!! Cheers To Friendship !!!

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
Nasa Pictures

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
Tiger Love

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM





Plz don't step on the duck!!!!!!!!!!

Aamir Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan die
together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says,"We only
have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the
ducks!"


So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are
ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not
to step on a duck, and although they try their best to
avoid them, Aamir accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he
has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and
says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"

The next day, Vivek Uberoi steps accidentally on
a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a
thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He
chains them together with the same admonishment as for
Aamir Khan.

Salman has observed all this and not wanting to be
chained ! for a ll eternity to an ugly woman, is very,
VERY careful where he steps.

He manages to go months without stepping on any
ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the
most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very
tall, Aishwarya Rai.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
Salman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve
being chained to you for all of eternity?"

She replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on
a duck!"

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM

just read & enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your
stupidity.
---------------------------------------------------
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
---------------------------------------------------
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then, what exactly are the others here for?
---------------------------------------------------
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
---------------------------------------------------
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
---------------------------------------------------
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
---------------------------------------------------
Save water.
Shower with your girlfriend.
---------------------------------------------------
Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught.
---------------------------------------------------
Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
---------------------------------------------------
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
---------------------------------------------------
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
---------------------------------------------------
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
---------------------------------------------------
There should be a better way to start a day than
waking up every morning
---------------------------------------------------
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk !
--------------------------------------------------
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours !
---------------------------------------------------
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
---------------------------------------------------
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
---------------------------------------------------

WANNA FRIENDSHIP WITH ME EMAIL ME

PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU  KNOW



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Sona Girl
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM
10 most stupid questions people usually ask

in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-


1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theatre.


2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet

Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....
why don't   you try again or should i try this
time."



3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?



4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah"  dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.



6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.



7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it  was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
WANNA FRIENDSHIP WITH ME EMAIL ME

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: ATUL VERMA
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 3:42 PM


U & I    In This Beautiful WORLD



Who invented A,B,C,D,E,..............................Z did a great
  thing.
  But he kept U and I very very far.

  But I still got a place where U and I are very close..... in fact
  together.......

  Do you know where U and I can be together.........

  Scroll down..
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  It is on the keyboard.....

  STUPID , don't see the keyboard now!!

PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU  KNOW



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Leena
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM


Bill Gates and Laloo's Meeting

Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar

  Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
  Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance
  concept.

  Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
  Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our
  house.

  Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
  Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

  Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
  Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are
  sleeping
  under the net.

  Gates: By the year 2000 India should export computer chips.
  Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

  Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
  Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

  Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a
  lot
  about RAM and ROM.
  Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly
  available in
  A.P..

  Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system
  crashes.
  Laloo: I have exhuasted all my leave.

  Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
  Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

  Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
  "Windows is restarting.Please wait............."

PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU  KNOW



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Leena
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 7:18 PM

Pain of a married man

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why
are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released
today!"


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
Amazing human numbers

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if no picture seen then may be you groups settings set to daily digest please
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM
~ Cheers to Life !!! Cheers To Friendship ~

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!!! Cheers to Life !!!

!!! Cheers To Friendship !!!

PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU  KNOW
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Note: forwarded message attached.

----- Original Message -----
From: Soniya
Sent: Tuesday, FEB 16, 2007 1:12 PM


My Diwali Sms Shayari Collections & Wish you All Happy & Shubh Deepawali

Wish you A Happy & Shubh Deepawali

1) Apun wishing u a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast n dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
"Happy diwali"



2)Diwali parva hai khushio ka,
Ujalo ka, laxmi ka..
Is diwali aapki jindagi khushio se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho,
ghar par maa laxmi ka aagman ho.
"Happy diwali"


Aaj se aap ke yahan.
Dhan. Ki barsat ho,
Maa laxmi ka. Vas. Ho,
Sankatto ka.. Nash. Ho
Har dil par aapka. Raj. Ho,
Unnati ka sar par. Taj. Ho,
Ghar me shanti ka.. Vas. Ho
* Happy diwali *


Deepawali ka ye paawan tyohar,
Jeevan mein laye khushiya aapar,
Laxmi ji viraje aapke dwar,
Subhkamnayen hamari karen sweekar!!
Wish u & ur family  happy diwali


Deep jalte jagmagate rahe,
Aap humko hum aapko yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai
Aap chand ki tarah jagmagate rahe
"Happy diwali



For this, is a special time when family
And friends get together,for fun.
Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,
In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!
Happy Deepawali


","','",this ",",",""",,
is god's rain",,,"
of
",','blessings"''",
may it wash away
all ur troubles &
keep u happy...
"happy diwali &





Raat ko jaldii say nendh aagai,
Subah uthay to diwali aagai..


Diwali parva hai khushiyon ka,
Ujalo ka, laxmi ka.Iss diwali aapka
zindagi khushiyon se bhari ho,
Duniya ujalo se roshan ho,
Ghar par maa laxmi ka aagman ho.

Happy Diwali


Jhilmilate dipon ki aabha se prakashit
Ye diwali aapke ghar aangan mein
Dhan dhanya sukh samridhi aur ishwor
Ke annat aashirwad le kar aaye.
Happy Diwali



This SMS will Explode in 5 seconds..

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(((((BOOM)))))

"*"*"*"*"*"*"
*"*"HAPPY"*"*
"*"DIPAWALI"*"
..*"*"*..



Andhera hua dur raat ke saath
Nayi subha aayi diwali leke sath
Ab ankhne kholo dekho ek msg aayi hai
Diwali ki subh kamna sath layi hai.
"
Happy Diwali
"


pray to god to give u
Shanti,
Shakti,
Sampati,
Swarup,
Saiyam,
Saadgi,
Safalta,
Samridhi,
Sanskar,
Swaasth,
Sanmaan,
Saraswati,
Aur sneh.
Shubh Diwali


Deepawali ke subh apsar per
Mere sab des basiyo ko subh kamnaye.


Ish tihar per apko hazaro khusi hasil ho
Asatya per hamesha satya ki jeet ho
Chahe aap kahin bhi rahe
Hamesha apno ka sath ho.



Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se... Chahte hai Aapki Khushi Pure imaan se,
Sab Hasratein Puri Ho Aapki, Aur Aap Muskaraye Dil-o-Jaan se!! Happy Diwali and
New Year that leads you on the road of Success. A Bliss from Inside


May the Divine Light of Diwali Spread into your Life Peace, Prosperity,
Happiness and Good Health. Happy Diwali



Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe, Jab tak zindagi
hai, dua hai hamari 'Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe...' Happy Diwal
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]