Note: forwarded message attached.
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Present For Husband
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and
left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the
trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine
months to see if it is a girl !!!"
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Note: forwarded message attached.
IF U HAS GUTS THEN READ THIS TRUE STORY!
THIS MESSAGE ORIGINALLY SENT BY ONE OF MY FRIEND. I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
BUT BE CAREFUL THOSE WHO HAVE WEAK HEARTS.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!!
Read this true Incident & let everybody you know this. My friend lives in Delhi
, One day he went to Gurgaon to visit his uncle for some days. One evening he
and some other of my college friends for a movie & had so much fun that he
forgot that it was Very late. He was returning around midnight. He had to walk
about a mile from where his friend dropped him. As he was walking alone, he
could sense that the night felt very creepy as it was so dark. While walking, he
was astonished to see an old creepy looking guy selling some books. It was a
very unusual thing to see a thing like that at late night. It got the shivers on
him when he noticed that his old guy is unusually pale and staring at him.
The old guy said "Son why don't you get a book, it would keep you company".
Then he did something which he would regret for the rest of his Life. My friend
started to act brave & thought why not & had a look at his Collection. He
noticed that all the books were related to supernatural Activities, but he found
one that was very interesting.
So he asked the Old man "how much is it?".
The old guy replied, "Well son, this is an interesting book, it's only for Rs.
250.
My friend was shocked and said "but...but it's expensive"
This time the old man stared which freaked him. My friend quickly checked all
his pockets & found Rs.200 & said "This is all I have."
The old guy replied "its OK son, you can have the book for that price
As My friend was just about to run for home the old man called back & said "Son,
whatever happen, you don't ever flip the book to it's last page. Remember these
words or you would regret it.
My friend nodded and never looked back.
On reaching home, he quickly asked his Uncle whether there was any new old book
seller nearby.
The Uncle replied "not that I know of but, we've heard that there's 1 old man
comes once in a while during full moon nights but heard That there is something
creepy about it, why son?"
My friend freaked out, he told his uncle "nothing uncle, just asking".
He started reading the book with the old man's words on His mind. At night, 2
o'clock, as he went to bed, a gush of wind blew which chilled him up to his
bones. At that glimpse, he noticed the wind had blown the pages to its last
page. He remembered what the old man has said!
But we humans tend to have the tendency to know.
Out of curiosity, he flipped to the last page & fainted. What he saw at the last
page is stated below.
Don't look further down if you have a weak heart
I warn you
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it was written
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............
Original price: -- Rs. 250/-
Promotion price: -- Rs. 10/-
he he he he he he
Ha Ha Ha !
SORRY DONT MIND SOME ONE SENT ME THIS.
NOW I SENT IT YOU
HAVE FUN ;-)
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Funny Killer English
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling
cigarette... ? "
************************
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
************************
once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."
************************
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
************************
don't. laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen
down.....
************************
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch
the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
************************
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************************
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
************************
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
************************
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
************************
"will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"
************************
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
************************
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
************************
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************************
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
************************
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
************************
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
************************
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Note: forwarded message attached.
One liners -- Hidden meanings
Today's Professional Management FUNDAS
1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least
not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have
already decided , I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the
deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier
that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means " Well I will tell you where your
fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the
work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble "
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Note: forwarded message attached.
Before & After Marriage
Love Humor & Jokes? Click here to Join Group...
Before Marriage
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage...
Simply read from bottom to top.
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