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43025Re: [SUMADHWASEVA] Help for marriage problems

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  • Madhavarao Kulkarni (madhakul)
    Nov 2, 2017

      Hare Ram,


      Sorry to hear the situations. Also, since the background of the issues and how stories have run from both sides are not known it is tough to share much of the granular thoughts.

      Just share few things which I employed personally in my married life.


      1. The marriage is 2 people coming from different background and need to connect for life. Things that connect well both of them are well explained in many granthas. But one of the important thing is “emotionally connected with each other”.
      2. Whenever you take up a work should be done together and most adjustments and fun, then only it goes into memories.
      3. Most of the time need to be spent on memories [Remember our ancestors also had lots of issues but they cherish good stuffs while idle]. Thus, you bring back happy moment about the partner more and more frequently to front of the memories.


      What I understood from Karma is: even parents and others who get impacted with such personal situations are also tied with their karmas to be part of one epic. Thus, each one burns out their karmas. We say Sandhyavandan and some other religion says prayers etc. All same, they have to reduce the impact on our emotions than exactly solving the problems. Thus, I personally feel if I do Sandhyavandana it should solve my present problem. Rather it will be making me tougher day by day to tackle things.


      My urge/request is don’t give up on any things, please keep up great hopes and surely you make out the way.





      Madhava Kulkarni


      From: <SUMADHWASEVA@...> on behalf of "Help Needed0505 helpneeded0505@... [SUMADHWASEVA]" <SUMADHWASEVA@...>
      Reply-To: "SUMADHWASEVA@..." <SUMADHWASEVA@...>
      Date: Wednesday, 1 November 2017 at 10:38 PM
      Subject: [SUMADHWASEVA] Help for marriage problems



      I have been facing extreme problems in marriage for the past 6-7 years. Now my wife and I are living separately. We have tried all sorts of remedies going to temples,visiting astrologers,various yathigala-kshetras,homas etc. 


      Nothing has worked.  While ups and downs are part of life, the down phase seem never ending. 


      It is easy to say it is all karma.God/yathis seem to be so unmoved by prayers. I feel sad looking at the pathetic state of my parents.I have personally lost interest in life as nothing seems to be working. I have given up on sandhyavandana, ekadshi fasting too.


      The condition of my marriage has gone beyond the stage where we keep egos aside and workout an amicable solution(by elders). This option was tried too and sadly efforts were all taken by one side(us). Finally everyone said, only divine intervention can save this marriage. Sadly even that is not happening as God/yathis seem to have given up too. 


      Astrologers also misguide. Whatever they said nothing happens.


      My questions are

      1. Is there anything that we can do to change the situation? I do not know what other places/homas we can do. The only reason why I am writing this mail is it breaks my heart to see the condition of my parents suffer. And I know they will be at peace only if my marriage problems go away. And personally I have lost interest in everything in life(including adhyathma karyagalu).

      2. Why is it that effects of Prarabdha Karma are so one-sided- one side suffers, the other side enjoys?

      3. Yathis like Rayaru do not listen to genuine prayers and remain silent to the wrongs done by the other side, as I normal individual it pains to see my parents mental state and I have lost trust in everything in life. 

      4. Is all this because of Yogyathe? We are not good enough to get their blessings and guidance? What wrong did my parents or I do to not get their guidance or blessings whereas others live life full of enjoyment.

      5. Till date I never prayed for any thing material. Since I am writing anonymously, I will tell. When I go to kshetra or during sandhyavandane, I used to pray for world peace, used to pray for rains, used to pray that no one in the world should starve or go without water, used to pray that society should be peaceful and our country should prosper, used to pray for farmers and soldiers, used to pray for rakshane of Hindu samaja, used to pray all problems in madhwas(differences in mutts) should be resolved and this philosphy should grow to reach everyone, i used to pray to god that all my family members should be give Tatva-gyana, and FINALLY i used to beg God to show me the right path, make me a good human & give me gyana, bhakthi and vyragya. Is this what I get in return for such prayers?  


      While others who ask for house, cars, bungalows get blessed by Yathigalu. I know everyone will advice do sadhyavandana, but can one do sandhyavandhane when he is put through so much of emotional pressure fro such a long time byeond what one human can handle???


      I hope some learned peopel can guide.

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